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Character Sketches Open For Comission
1 min read
Have a character you want drawn? Well I'm open for commissioned character sketches! Prices range from 15.00 USD to 45.00 USD. You can pay for shipping if you want the original, or I can send you a digital file at no additional cost.
Character line art is $15.00
Lightly shaded is $25.00
Shaded with background is $45.00
I am also open for general commissions as well, but those may be more expensive depending on what you want.
Character line art is $15.00
Lightly shaded is $25.00
Shaded with background is $45.00
I am also open for general commissions as well, but those may be more expensive depending on what you want.
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How to Write a (Bad) Romance Novel
2 min read
Here is my not-so-serious-but-genuinely-thought-out "How To" on writing bad romance novels. Enjoy.
1) Have a basic grasp of spelling. It doesn't matter what language it's in, and you're allowed to make up words. Just make sure you can trick the reader in to believing it's a real word by spelling it with confidence.
2) Make sure the over arching plot is interesting, but not too interesting. Your audience didn't pick up your novel expecting it to be the Odyssey.
3) Unless you are a famous, muscle-bound god with flowing golden locks, make sure your pen name is feminine. If the readers see a masculine name, they will assume the plot too intelligently written, and that the nuances of the vagina and female orgasm are lost on men. The point is to put the reader in both the hero and the heroine's shoes.
4) Save your in depth descriptions for character portrayal and the sex scenes. Readers of this genre tend to be drawn to the character relationships. The point is to put your characters into the audience's fantasies, so don't waste time waxing poetic about the setting.
5) When you get to the love making, make sure to emphasize that it's the best sex the heroine has ever had. If she's a virgin, the hero ruins her for any other man. If she isn't, it's the best sex she's ever had and no one in her past compares.
6) Finally and most importantly be creative with your descriptions of body parts. When it comes to the heroine, the most common comparisons are between female body parts and fruit. When it comes to the hero, make sure emphasize how hard his throbbing organ is. Also, his cock is the biggest ever.
1) Have a basic grasp of spelling. It doesn't matter what language it's in, and you're allowed to make up words. Just make sure you can trick the reader in to believing it's a real word by spelling it with confidence.
2) Make sure the over arching plot is interesting, but not too interesting. Your audience didn't pick up your novel expecting it to be the Odyssey.
3) Unless you are a famous, muscle-bound god with flowing golden locks, make sure your pen name is feminine. If the readers see a masculine name, they will assume the plot too intelligently written, and that the nuances of the vagina and female orgasm are lost on men. The point is to put the reader in both the hero and the heroine's shoes.
4) Save your in depth descriptions for character portrayal and the sex scenes. Readers of this genre tend to be drawn to the character relationships. The point is to put your characters into the audience's fantasies, so don't waste time waxing poetic about the setting.
5) When you get to the love making, make sure to emphasize that it's the best sex the heroine has ever had. If she's a virgin, the hero ruins her for any other man. If she isn't, it's the best sex she's ever had and no one in her past compares.
6) Finally and most importantly be creative with your descriptions of body parts. When it comes to the heroine, the most common comparisons are between female body parts and fruit. When it comes to the hero, make sure emphasize how hard his throbbing organ is. Also, his cock is the biggest ever.
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IMPORTANT NOTICE
1 min read
I will be selling hard copies of some of my art work, so keep an eye out for pieces and their prices. I'll have a photo of the pieces and their information up (hopefully) within the NEXT WEEK.
BE AWARE: It's FIRST come first serve.
I feel like I'm selling puppies.
BE AWARE: It's FIRST come first serve.
I feel like I'm selling puppies.
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It Was a Dark and Stormy Night...
1 min read
...and the Captain said to his mates, "I'm going to tell you a story..."
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If Wishes were Jewels
1 min read
everyone would be wealthy, and I'd be able to fund a lavish indoor existence.
The news is out! I'm agoraphobic---meaning I have a fear of open/heavily populated places. I'm officially a loon. Yaaay...Not really. Why can't I have a productive mental illness, like... I dunno, obsessive compulsive disorder?
Anyhoo. There isn't a whoooole lot of work coming out of me, and for that I apologize. I'm lacking in direction at the moment. I have too many ideas and not enough patience to execute them all. So we'll see what comes up over the next couple of months, shall we?
The news is out! I'm agoraphobic---meaning I have a fear of open/heavily populated places. I'm officially a loon. Yaaay...Not really. Why can't I have a productive mental illness, like... I dunno, obsessive compulsive disorder?
Anyhoo. There isn't a whoooole lot of work coming out of me, and for that I apologize. I'm lacking in direction at the moment. I have too many ideas and not enough patience to execute them all. So we'll see what comes up over the next couple of months, shall we?
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